Frozen Skinny Lemon Lime Pie

**sigh** my ravens lost, after several minutes in OT and a valiant effort. However we were missing a few key players, ESP Ray Lewis!! Damn injuries!! So I'm bummed, rummaging in the kitchen with a very sour look on my face, and then it hits me! I want something lemony, but all I have is fatty lemon cookies. Crap. But then out of the corner of my eye, I spy a few ingredients : sugar free lemon jello mix, sugar free fat free lemon pudding mix, and a pie crust!! Hmmm....I know I have fat free cream cheese in the fridge and I always have at least 1 tub of fat free cool whip in the freezer.

So I mixed the jello and pudding together with 1/2 c of milk and 1 c boiling water, and whisked the hell out of it. (At first it looks like lemon vomit, but hang in there, it comes together. Then I mixed in 2 tbsp of room temp cream cheese, and the whole container of cool whip. Tasted it. Hmm...too sweet. Needs more lemoness. But I'm out of lemon juice !!!! Crap balls...oh wait!! There's lime juice!! Meh, same thing, right? So I squeezed in about 1 tbsp of lime juice, stir and throw it in the pie shell. Freeze it for what seems like the longest 20 minutes of my life, and voila!! It's so good....omg...lemony limey creamy, crunchy crust. Yum! And only 1 dirty bowl, so yay for that!! I still have a sour face, but not over my boys loss!

Skinny Pumpkin Butter

Ok, so I used the big can of pumpkin in my last post and had about 1 c leftover. What the hell can you make with 1 c of pumpkin purée? Hmm...skinny pumpkin butter, perhaps? 

So obviously 1c of pumpkin. 1 c of Splenda, and if you read my blog it's also known as Death Sweetener, (star wars reference from a long, mildly amusing post about battling a galactic sugary cheesecake). Sorry, sidetracked, 1 1/2 c skim milk, or whatever you want to use, regular milk, soymilk, coconut milk would be good, as I've said before, whatever floats your boat. 1 dash of salt and 1 tsp each of cinnamon and vanilla. 

Mix all of this together and stirring constantly, bring to a boil in a saucepan. After its bubbly, stir for 5 min, then remove from heat. Let it cool and you can smear that s*** on EVERYTHING. sometimes I just stand in the kitchen, rooting thru the cabinets, finding stuff to put it on. Or sometimes, (says with a shameful look), I just stick my finger in it. Yeah, that's right, we all do it, it's not just you! This stuff will keep in the fridge for about 2 weeks, I assume of course, because it has never lasted that long in my house! 

Pumpkin muffins!

Ok my life has officially been changed. 1 can of pumpkin + 1 box of gluten free cake mix =  holy crapola!! Pumpkin freakin muffins. THAT'S IT, just mix them together, scoop into muffin tin lined with little (sometimes pain in the ass) muffin paper things, and bake at 350 for 25 minutes......OMG!! life is so good! Just had to share my new secret!! 

Football season is here!!

Ok so is is a new season, my Baltimore Ravens are 4-1, and Joe Flacco is looking good this year (especially since to removal of the porn star 'stache). So I am swapping back and fourth between Pats game, and checking all the scores on NFL network, along with keeping up with my trash talking friends on FB, and I must say its exhausting. Time for snacks! (Or "chips and such" as my mother refers to it, ya know, chips, veg, etc.) so I am rooting around in my cabinets looking for salsa to go with my "chip and such" and alas, all I have is sugary sodium filled crap from Piggly Wiggly. (insert big sigh of disappointment here) so I decide to whip up some skinny girl salsa and hummus of course! Ok so garbanzo beans have DOUBLE the fat of white cannellini beans, just FYI. So I keep roasted garlic in the fridge inside a jar filled with olive oil, BUT if you are not as prepared, you will need a whole head of garlic, roasted. 
The easiest way to achieve this is to cut the tippy top off, wrap in foil, pour on a little olive oil and toss that puppy in the oven, 425, for about 20 minutes. Then after it cools all you have to do is squeeze it and the cloves fall right out! Genius, right? No more of that sticky peeling nonsense...
So anyway, in a food processor or blender, throw in your drained and rinsed can of cannellini beans, (say that shit 5 times fast), garlic, salt and pepper to taste, and about 1/3c EVOO. (Extra virgin olive oil for those of you who aren't swift enough to figure that one out, lol) Blend until smooth and BAM! Hummus, like a boss. 

Ok so the salsa is essentially just as easy. Toss in a small container of cherry tomatoes. If you don't have chopped onion in the freezer (like I said, I'm prepared), then chop a red onion in half and throw that bad boy in the food processor with the tomatoes. Add a little Splenda, some kind of acid (lemon juice, lime juice, orange juice, whatever) about 1Tbsp, salt and pepper to taste, and that's right, more garlic. About 3 cloves of roasted, or 1 clove of raw. Whatever floats your boat. Pulse a few times, depending on how chunky you want it and their ya go! Guilt free salsa! Eat the whole damn container if you want, it has NO FAT AND NO SUGAR. you're welcome! 

Non-Galactic Cheesecake

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY....there was a girl determined to drop some serious poundage, right before Halloween and Thanksgiving! So of course, she is reeling in the thoughts of not being able to eat the coveted food she looks forward to every year. But there is a NEW HOPE, IT IS A PERIOD OF CIVIL WAR between my desires to eat what I want and not be fat. REBEL SPACESHIPS aka my will power to not eat the cheesecake in my fridge, STRIKING FROM A HIDDEN BASE HAVE WON THEIR FIRST VICTORY AGAINST THE EVIL GALACTIC EMPIRE, aka the aformentioned cheesecake. *I should note this is only mildly entertaining if you like Star Wars, and if not, you can hop back over to Facebook and leave me to battle my Galactic Cheesecake. 
DURING THE BATTLE, REBEL SPIES MANAGED TO STEAL SECRET PLANS TO THE ULTIMATE WEAPON, (Splenda!) aka THE DEATH SWEETENER, A LOW CALORIE SWEETENER WITH ENOUGH POWER TO SWEETEN MY CHEESECAKE WITH NO ADDED CALORIES!! 

Ok I guess you get the point I wanted a damn cheesecake, but I didn't want to have to add an extra hour of cardio training just to eat it. SO....I created a skinny recipe! The best part about these is i made them in a muffin tin, so they are single serving, and you can freeze them for 2 months! Here ya go! 

Non-Galactic Cheesecake

Cheesecakes: Preheat oven to 300 degrees and place oven rack in the center of the oven. Line 12 muffin cups with paper liners. For Crust: 1c fat free or reduced fat graham crackers 1 TBSP Splenda 4 TBSP melted low fat margarine (look it can't be completely skinny, but its better than butter, right?) In a small bowl combine the graham cracker crumbs, Splenda, and melted margarine. Press a heaping tablespoon of crumbs onto the bottoms of the 12 muffin cups. Cover and refrigerate while you make the filling. For Filling: 2 8oz pkgs of fat free cream cheese 2/3 c Splenda 1/8 tsp salt 1 tsp vanilla 3 egg whites 1/2 c fat free sour cream  In the bowl of your electric mixer (or with a hand mixer), beat the cream cheese on low speed until creamy and smooth. Add the splenda and salt and beat until  combined.Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add the egg whites, one at a time, beating until incorporated. Add the vanilla extract and sour cream and beat until incorporated. Remove the crusts from the refrigerator and evenly divide the filling among the 12 muffin cups.  Bake for about 18 - 22 minutes or until firm but the centers of the cheesecakes still wobble a little. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack. Let cool and then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate (a few hours or even overnight). To serve, gently peel off the paper liners and add berries!